Lonely? – Being Alone Does Not Need To Be Lonely



You Are Never Alone When You Decide To Love Yourself

For many women the idea of being alone and lonely is not an attractive one.  We are often faced with many fears if we begin to realise we may need to leave our existing relationship if we open to being honest with ourselves and see our real needs are not being met.  Woman tend to hold on to relationships even when we know they are not good for us, as the fear of being alone is often greater than the suffering being experienced in unhealthy relationships.

Where Does This Fear Arise From?

Mostly our mind has already formed opinions around what it believes will happen to us if we leave our partners.  If low self esteem is present we will often believe that we will not be happy, or achieve another relationship in the future and the idea of ‘I will be alone’ is formed.  However is this true? How do you know you will be alone?  Of course you don’t, however if you believe that is the case then you are already stuck in a disturbing cycle of isolating one’s self and believing you are not loveable and this is the case period.  How finite the mind can be and very much in some sense deluded in creating a fantasy that you believe to be real, and a very painful one at that.  Who truly wants to believe that they will be alone for the rest of their life and most of all never receive love again.  Does this resonate with you?  Are you addicted to doing this behaviour to yourself?  Are you constantly putting yourself down and saying your are not good enough, fearing change out of a belief that no good will come of it?  Well this is not helping you.  Are you willing to see this right now?

Letting Go And Allowing Change Will Ultimately Mean Facing Your Fears.

However change can bring a welcome relief and a crystallization of realising that once you let go of old outmoded relationships you in fact may be happier than ever once you grieve and accept the death phase of endings compassionately.  All endings in our lives inevitably bring feelings of grief and discomfort.  However this is always only ever temporary.  Your mind will eventually adapt to your new life and become in time comfortable with it and when it really lets in change it can ultimately become very happy as a result of change.  Change requires some patience.  Initially the mind is not comfortable with change as it is not known what the outcome will be, and if you are addicted to control then you will most certainly sense the vulnerability of feeling out of control as you cannot be certain of the outcome until you are in the direct experience of it for yourself.  Meaning you have to let go, live and see for yourself what it feels like to experience change personally.

It is not theoretical, you are a live human being, in constant contact with your aliveness, we either flow with it or fight and try to deny life.  Which determines the level of comfort we feel.  Discomfort arises when we struggle against the flow.

Self Love Is A Way To Support Yourself Through Change.

An open mind is essential.  Letting go of old outdated beliefs that you pick up from the past, from parents, school, past partners, work, experiences that you may have thought were painful.  When you accept yourself you are never lonely.  Loneliness is basically a by product of self rejection, abandonment and self criticism which continuously makes us wrong or the problem.  It is the basic separation of oneself to oneself.  We are split.  We are no longer whole and intimate with ourself.  One with.  We are at war within our self and no longer wish to be at peace, meaning being with ourself as is.  Unconditional love for who we are, as we are, in each moment.

Being alone, is in fact not a problem, it can be a liberation, particularly if you have been living in a intolerable life process.  Not receiving the respect, the love and care and sensitivity that we all deserve. It is up to you to realize that letting go will be easier, then you allow the space for the truth and real love that your deserve to come into your life.  It will allow you space to develop a healthy relationship with yourself, so you don’t attract the same unbalanced unhealthy relationship to yourself again.  Give yourself space to come to love yourself.  The root cause of your feeling lack of love is the resistance to loving yourself.  Period!  If you do truly love yourself you will never be lonely again.  In fact being alone can be incredibly beautiful if you love yourself it can be a very intimate, richly fulfilling experience where you feel totally happy within yourself.  Yes, it can be everything you have searched for outside of yourself, only coming to realise that you can give that yourself… never be in lack again.  Fully empowered, resonating in love abundantly and realising no matter what you face in terms of life experiences no matter how challenging support is always with you.  You are your own best friend, lover, mother, father, spiritual guide, if you were only willing to show up and be the truth you are… your humanity is you but ultimately you are love masquerading as human.

Don’t Be Fooled By The Limiting Negative Voices In Your Head.

Take a good look, are they familiar stories you have told yourself for a long time, and you just too scared to take a risk and change.  Do you really want to change? If you do, then you need to accept your fear, feel it, let in, it is not as bad you think, fear is not something to fear, it just a basic emotion that all humans experience. Like running from your own shadow believing it to be scary monster, only to turn and face it, realize it is only a shadow, it can do you no harm, you just needed to see for yourself what a shadow really is, just a shadow. Fear is like a shadow, once you enlighten yourself to the experience of just feeling fear, it is no big deal, it is just fear… most of it what we have built up in our heads is a more scarier experience that what is actually real.

So Stop Running, Look Within, Feel You, As You Are.

Feel the fear of being alone… be honest, perhaps it is easier to feel the fear and let go and change, than to spend to rest of your life wondering what it would be like.  Staying stuck, never moving, staying dissatisfied with life, complaining and blaming because you are not choosing to take responsibility for yourself and step into the unknown.  The unknown can be the healthiest experience of your life.  In fact you are never the same, you do change everyday.  We age, we are growing older by the minute, so in fact there is proof we cannot stay the same.   You have grown from being a child to the adult you are now, and be honest some experiences of change have probably been really good, in fact better than you expected.  So how can you truly say that by holding on to what is uncomfortable will be better than what is ahead.

Life is what you make it.  With healthy self esteem, and self love, we move on with confidence and openness that helps us through any of the bumps that comes with adjusting to the new.  With a open heart we believe that life will take care of us and that we will be ok no matter what.  Which is true, if you let it in.  You always stay connected to you, by continuously loving and accepting yourself as you are in each moment.  Never against.

So What Do You Want To Be?

Open or closed?  One is very lonely, the other maybe alone, but never lonely!

In being alone, we will always experience love.  Self love.  Lonely is the absence of love.

A shift in self attitude is all you need.  No more excuses, you are loveable just the way are… when are you going to let it in.  How about starting now and experiencing the benefits of feeling fulfilled which most of us yearn for, in the simplest way you can.  Say to yourself right now “I love you, just as you are” and do this for the rest of your life and mostly when you are feeling fear.  It is that simple.

The Deepest And Most Profound Life Skill We Can Learn Is Wholeness.

To be one with all  will set you free.  You are on the road to freedom, the fact that you are reading this now speaks volumes of your choice to be open and willing to love yourself, well done, may you hear your hearts deepest call… loving your self is wonderful, enjoy!

Once you love being alone, you will find that people are just attracted to you effortlessly, and remember sometimes, if it doesn’t rain it pours. Love will enter your life with such variety you may be pleasantly surprised… love is all there is.

When your heart is truly open you will receive it.  It starts with loving within…

If you have any comments you would like to add please do so below.

Thank you for reading…

In Gratitude

Kristine x

ps – you may find this whole body guided meditation of help if you require some help in learning more about wholeness – click here to learn more

Why would you want to have a session with Kristine? Learn more by clicking here

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